One second thought it was not a wise idea to bring my guitar on this trip. I guess it’s too late for that now. Everything that is with me is gonna make it as far as I do. My pack of gear, my ego, my pains, my hat, shoes and guitar, are all coming to the top of this mountain with me. Nothing is getting left behind.
Well that is what I thought about an hour ago. Now only my shoes and hat are accompanying me. I had to shed some weight. The climb is steep, the pitch is great, and the wind is angrily attacking my face. The less I carry the better for this trip. I can go get what I left behind after I get to the top and rest a bit.
I should have listened to my first plan. I am rather cold up here now that the sun is weaker in the sky. I cannot see and wish I had a flashlight. I am shivering, I am numb, I am not as certain of what I am doing and why I should carry on. I am climbing, but for the first time today I am thinking about abandoning my goal.
Fuck, is there an end to this climb? Did I go the wrong way? I just keep climbing. I just keep pushing. I just keep slipping. My shoes suck, my pace crawls, my head hurts. Why don’t I just give up?
I see it! I see the top. I feel instantly stronger. It looks so awesome. The end looks so close. I am almost there. I will quicken my pace just a bit. I cannot wait to sit and look out over the valley bellow. Just a few more minutes, I am so close.
Shit, what a fall. I have no idea where I am anymore. I am here, looking, searching for what tripped me up. No root, no rock, no hole but I tumbled and I fell down the hill. I have no idea where I am. I have no idea which way is up. What do I do now?
I know what to do, sit and breath. I wait for my body and soul to catch up with each other. I close my eyes and let go of my location, my direction, and my path. I sit and breathe and slow it all down. I pray for my soul to show me a moment of clarity, a snippet of direction. I will trust and follow whatever I am shown. With one step at a time, one piece at a time, I l will get go of the summit. I have to let go of the view. I have to let go of the journey and focus only on the next step.
I am here. There are higher views, taller mountains, I do not care for them for I am here and what a view it is from here. The air is so crisp, the valley so lush, the rain refreshes my spirit. I am here and I am loving it. Every step provides a new angle, and each step I am blown away. I can now see that I was here all along.